Peter

Mobile order for Jihoon, four drinks. Two tall lattes, two quad espressos. Each day that same order comes in. He doesn’t speak much English, but I know he needs stickers to cover the lids so coffee doesn’t spill in his car. He’s quiet and has kind eyes, and he always hands me a dollar bill on his way out instead of putting it in the tip jar. 

Mobile order for Jacob. Two tall lattes, two quad espressos. I steam the milk and set the drinks on a tray. I don’t cover the lids with stickers. Customers come and go. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jihoon, arm stretched over the counter, reaching for the stickers. I hand him the stickers and he hands me the dollar bill with a soft smile. Without a word, but with quiet understanding. 

Jacob. 

Jihoon. 

My heart sinks. My stomach ties up in knots. My coworkers don’t understand what is wrong. He changed his name on the app. Big deal. 

I think of my father. Pero. He arrives in the United States in his early 20s. Foreigner in a promising country. Thick accent and war memories. A heavy backpack and currency to exchange. From Florida to New York, bussing tables to get by. Meet a pretty woman, get married. Start a family somewhere new. Picket fence and paved roads. The American Dream.

Technical school. Start a business. Pero Grgin, Heating and Cooling. No, that won’t do. Bad for business. Change your name. Peter Grgin. Yes, much better. Sounds more American. More customers. More money.

Green cards. Stay afloat. Smile for a photo with your dad so they know he has a family here. Won’t send him back. Citizenship tests. Car rides to church listening to practice questions on CDs. What are the three branches of government? How many U.S. Senators are there? I pledge allegiance. To the flag. Both flags are red white and blue. One of checkers and one of stripes and stars. Never forget where you came from, but work on that accent a little. Change your name. Americanize. Vali, how do you spell ‘sincerely’? Vali, help me write this email. P.G. Heating and Cooling Inc. Vali, how do you spell ‘invoice’?

Peter.

Pero.

You don’t speak English well? That’s fine, just don’t speak at all. Change your name. Forget your past. This is your future. Star spangled banners and long hours. Work all day. Come home late. The kids miss you. Work. This is your life now. The city of dreams. Send your kids off to college. Give them a better life than you had at their age. Work. Change your name. 

Jihoon takes his drinks and leaves. I wonder who he is buying coffee for. I wonder what made him change his name.